It can be hard when relationships end. It’s normal to go through a whole range of emotions. Whether or not you initiated the break-up, a part of your life is ending and it’s okay to grieve. You might feel anger, distress, fear, regret, sadness and/or even relief.
Heartache can be incredibly painful. It’s important to remember that the hurt you feel is real and normal. Breaking up is one of the hardest things that a lot of people go through. Be kind to yourself – your experience is valid, and you’ll get through this.
But the end of a relationship can also be an awesome opportunity. A whole new chapter of your life is about to open up. Here are some of the good things that can come out of a break-up that you might not expect.
You can get to know yourself
Being in a relationship that’s going through tough times can be distressing. Even though your break-up might feel terrible now, you’re moving from a stressful situation to one where you have a chance to heal.
There are more loving relationships ahead of you, if that’s what you want. But being single also comes with perks and there are plenty of people living rich, love-filled lives who aren’t in a relationship.
You’ll be able to think more about your own big and small decisions when you don’t have to compromise with a partner. It’s the perfect opportunity to take some time out to reflect on your life and what you want next.
You’ll have extra time
One silver lining of a relationship ending is the extra time you’ll have, especially on weekends. It’s a great chance to do the stuff you’ve been wanting to do, like getting more active or hanging out with friends.
A break-up can also be a good time to get creative. Play music, write, make art, and try your hand at something new. The formal structure of a music lessons or a drawing class can also be a really helpful way to establish a routine.
Dealing with a relationship break up
Whether you did the breaking up or you’re the one who was broken up with, it can bring on a range of difficult feelings. It’s normal to experience these feelings and it can take time to get over the loss of a relationship.
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You can reflect on what you want in a relationship
Relationships of any kind involve a lot of love, time, and attention. Moving on from one allows you to take stock and have a think about what you really want. Consider the things you like about your past relationship, and what didn’t work. You might like to ask yourself:
- How much time would I like to spend with another person?
- What do I want when it comes to sex and intimacy?
- What kind of support do I need?
- What kind of things do I want to have in common with my partner?
- Do I want to go straight into a committed relationship, or meet people in more casual contexts?
Are you finding your break-up really challenging? Looking for some support? Get in touch with your nearest headspace centre.